How to Set Boundaries Without Losing Your Cool (Especially with Family!)

It’s one of the most emotionally draining experiences:
You love someone, but every time you’re around them, you feel irritated, disrespected, or even angry. You’re doing your healing work, but those feelings just keep bubbling up.

You’re not trying to cause drama.
You just want peace.
So why does it feel so hard?

This scenario came up in a big way during our recent Relationship Reset coaching call in the Carol Tuttle Healing Center.

We were just a few days into the course when a thoughtful member submitted this question:

“What can I do if I have anger and resentment built up toward a family member? We interact all right and love each other, but I’m constantly irked by their lack of boundaries or respecting mine. I want to stay close to them, but the internal anger I feel seems to well up and get in the way of me really being able to connect easily.”

This question hits home for so many.
How do you stay close to someone when their behavior is constantly triggering you?

Here’s what I shared—and how you can start applying this wisdom right now.

2 Ways to Heal Anger Without Breaking the Relationship

1. Let yourself feel it—privately.
You don’t have to bring your unfiltered anger into every conversation. But you do need to acknowledge it. Suppressing your emotions only allows them to fester.
That’s why I recommend using the Body Clearing tool in the Healing Center. (It’s also referred to as the Creation Walk in some courses.)
This resource helps you physically move energy and emotions out of your body—so you’re not storing resentment or letting it build to a breaking point.
When you safely express your feelings, you’ll notice that your clarity, compassion, and boundaries become stronger and steadier.

2. Use the ho’oponopono mantra to shift the emotional charge.
This Hawaiian healing practice is simple but powerful. Just repeat in your mind:
I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.
You don’t even need to say it out loud. Just run it silently when you feel yourself getting activated by the other person. It clears the reactive energy so that you’re not stuck in the same emotional loop.

You may not be able to change the other person’s behavior, but you can change how it affects you. That’s where your power lies.

Boundaries and Healing Can Coexist

You don’t have to choose between closeness and peace.
With the right tools, you can stay connected to loved ones and honor your own emotional well-being.

In this Relationship Reset coaching call, I answered several other questions about boundaries, inner child healing, marriage dynamics, and how to move forward after divorce. I also coached a live guest who wanted to break her own pattern of emotional explosions after long periods of people-pleasing. (Can you relate?)

Watch the full call replay here.

How did this call help you?

Post about your insights, takeaways, and “aha” moments in the members-only Healing Center Facebook group.

This call included a special giveaway for our live Zoom attendees that’s now closed. But if one of the tools we discussed—like the Creation Journal, Affirmation Cards, or gemstone energy—feels like it’s calling to you, trust that nudge. These tools are here to support your healing in a tangible way.

You’re worth the peace you’re seeking. And you’re already on your way there.

Bless you,