How to Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No

How to find your voice and build your confidence

Do you feel easily swayed by others? You want to say “no” to them, but even if you do, it doesn’t seem to matter.

It’s so common for women to get into adulthood and feel like they have to be sweet, agreeable, soft, and easy to get along with. They avoid rocking the boat or causing anyone else discomfort—even if that means they feel discomfort themselves.

If you’ve ever struggled to speak up for yourself, or gone along with something because you feel like you don’t have a choice, I have the solution to help.

How to get your “no” to stick and stand out.

Several times a year, I guide all of the Carol Tuttle Healing Center members through one of my healing plans or courses. As part of that guided experience, I host a live coaching call to help members through whatever is coming up for them during that time. We just had the coaching call for my powerful course, Self-Confidence Ignited.

Here’s one of the questions that was asked:

“I want to develop more confidence with my “no,” sticking to what is right and healthy for me in the moment, rather than backing down to others’ wishes or disappointment. Any tips?”

What’s happening is that you’re reverting back to a childhood pattern, and you’re acting on the energy that is keeping you stuck there.

I have a couple of ideas to help you through this.

3 Steps to Say “No” When You Want To—And Mean It

1. First, you have to clear this energy out of your system.

Part of the inability to say no comes from a place of low self-esteem and low self-confidence. I highly recommend going through the entire Self-Confidence Ignited course to address this.

In this power-packed 3-week experience, you’ll work through daily and weekly sessions chosen specifically to help you connect with your wholeness and your inner confidence.

If you’re already going through this course as a Healing Center member, be sure to focus on these sessions specifically:

These two sessions are important for healing the inner child and removing the blocks that are keeping you cycling in that energy.

2. Secondly, grow yourself up out of this old energy.

Now that the energy is gone, it’s time to grow yourself up in your mind.

Remember what I said earlier: in these moments of not being able to say no, you’re shrinking back into being a small child.

You feel like the other people have all the power, leaving you feeling powerless.

But you get to grow your inner child up and out of this old pattern. Give them direction and show them what’s next for them.

You can do this by Energy Sketching in your Creation Journal.

  • Start with a sketch of you with the other person. They are very big and towering over you, and as this happens, you’ve shrunk into a very small, childlike person.
  • Then, it’s time to shift this energy. Write notes, affirmations, or empowering words and phrases of what you want to feel instead.
  • Then, cross out that original sketch. By doing so, you’re removing that energy and pattern completely.
  • Now, draw a new sketch: one where you’re very large, and they’re very small. The goal in the end is to get to a place where you’re both equal-sized adults, but use this trick in the meantime. This step is about establishing your own energetic presence and imagining their energy shrinking back and getting smaller because the original sketch of them “overpowering” you was not a healthy expression of energy.
  • Once your presence has been grounded, and you feel confident, see how the energy feels. If things have evened out, draw a new sketch where you both have an equally energetic partnership.

This step of the process is so important because until the energy is working in your favor, all of your verbal “no’s” will not hold up!

3. Finally, reinforce your “No” on a regular basis.

I created a wonderful resource in Lifestyle specifically about this topic. Even though it’s intended for Type 1’s, absolutely anyone will benefit from what I teach! It will help you strengthen your “no” and become more grounded anytime you use it.

Get a Lifestyle membership to view this video and hundreds of others that would be very beneficial as a supplement and add-on to the Self-Confidence Ignited course.

It’s time to become unstoppable.

In the Coaching Call, I go over so many more questions sent in by our members, and I help a live guest work through a confidence issue showing up from her childhood. Watch the recording here.

Interested in joining the Healing Center?

Start your (FREE) complimentary two weeks here!

How did this call help you? Post about your insights and “aha” moments in the members-only Healing Center Facebook group.

Bless you,

Psst. This coaching call had giveaways exclusively for our live Zoom attendees that are now closed. As you watch the replay, if you feel a tug toward any of the resources mentioned, treat yourself to them! You’re being called to them for a reason.

Find out what’s keeping you stuck


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