How to Stop Getting What You Don’t Want

Move From A "Lack" Mindset To An "Abundance" Mindset

In life, it’s easy to feel like you never get what you want. Whether it’s the job, car, house, family, lotto, or anything you desire, it just appears out of reach. However true that may feel to you, it simply isn’t. It’s your mindset.

You must remove the thought of “I can’t have (fill in desire) because (fill in reason here).” It’s a mindset that’s trapping you in your current state of life. Whatever you desire, you have a reason to blame for not achieving or receiving that desire. Rather than taking steps to achieve your desires, you are making complaints. Complaints will not do anything more than make you feel more stuck in your current situation of unhappiness.

The main reason you don’t get what you want is that your focus is in the wrong place. You seek to eliminate the things you do not want in your life rather than focusing on the items you desire.

This is a vicious cycle that almost everyone goes through during their life. I know you’ve been through it because I’ve been through it too. We try to change things in our life we can’t change, so we end up feeling powerless. Then we complain and focus on the things we don’t want. While we’re trying to change things we can’t, we feel powerless, and the cycle begins again.

I can teach you how to stop getting what you don’t want if you are willing to make the necessary changes in your life. From the Law of Attraction and learning how to deal with setbacks in your life, you can and will begin to break the cycle. Let’s go on this healing journey together.

From the Lack Mindset to Abundance Mindset

In order to stop getting what you don’t want, you must do two things: 1) stop putting energy into eliminating undesirable things in your life and 2) begin focusing on attaining desirable items. The first is a “lack” mindset. All of the negative emotions and thoughts overpower any positivity behind your intentions. The second is an “abundance” mindset. You will know that everything works, even if there are obstacles here and there.

You must realize that there is nothing to eliminate in your life. You attract what you put out into the universe. This is the basic concept behind the law of attraction. If you focus on the negatives instead of the positives, you will continue to attract the negatives. However, when you think positively and understand you don’t need to put any negative words in your thoughts, you will attract exactly what you want.

The items you believe that you need to eliminate from your life are merely negative thoughts. These are illusions your mind has conjured from the past emotional trauma you have not healed from in your life. You continue to allow these negative feelings to give power to your desires. As soon as you stop thinking negatively, these thoughts will dissipate into thin air. You will be free and begin to stop getting what you don’t want.

Your mind is your greatest enemy at times. It is the only thing standing in the way between you living the life you want and the life you feel stuck in. I know it is not an easy journey to heal and begin to change your mindset. Emotions are so powerful and drain our energy centers. If you don’t realize how powerful emotions are, consider this example.

When you really want to go to a meeting at work, you begin to feel irritated. It feels like a waste of time and effort. This irritating feeling can grow and make you feel even worse as the meeting time comes closer. Since you are focusing on what you don’t want, you feel bad (and maybe even mad or upset). Now, imagine the opposite of this scenario. You don’t want to go to the meeting, but you don’t feel irritated. Instead, you think about how you might get to see others you haven’t talked to today, bring up new ideas that have been on your mind for a while, or even prove your worth to upper management. As you continue to focus on what you do want, you feel good (and you probably lessened any feelings about not wanting to go to the meeting).

A study was conducted in 2012 to see how much our thoughts and emotions impact our actions. Students were studied to understand how the words “can’t” and “don’t” impacted their decision making. The students who say “I can’t eat” chocolate still wound up eating the candy bar 61 percent of the time. On the other hand, those who said “I don’t eat” chocolate only ate the candy bar 36 percent of the time. How does this relate to getting what you want? The negative connotation behind the inability to have what you want leads to impulsive purchases/decisions that are not what you want. However, simply by making the choice not to do a certain action because it is what you want to do will improve your chances of getting exactly what you want.

Emotions control you and your life more than you think. If you don’t want to feel bad, don’t focus on what you want to eliminate. Focus on what you desire and you will feel so much better.

Tips to Make the Shift Easier

I know that the healing journey can be filled with many ups and just as many downs. Sometimes, you may feel like this is not worth to continue on such a vital journey in your life, but you must. In order to make the shift correctly, you must acknowledge that it will be challenging and time-consuming; however, it will be worth it.

Consider the following tips:

  1. Nothing > Negative: If you have no nice thoughts, don’t think at all. Shut down your mind and regroup when you have more positive thoughts.
  2. Understand What You Want: This may take time to even formulate, and that’s okay. Of course, you want happiness, but you also want smaller things in this life. Start with those and begin to achieve them in order to achieve your ultimate goal of living an affluent life.
  3. Find Your Why: You must decide what you truly want to experience in order to avoid thinking of what you don’t want.

Consider the Seven Layers Deep principle to help you through your healing journey. Whether you want to write or type is up to you, but you need a record of this exercise so you can reference it in the future. This exercise is powerful and allows you to have a conversation with yourself. Start by writing “Why do you want (fill in the desire)?” on the left column. In the right column, provide the answer to why. On the next line, respond to your initial answer by writing “Why do you want (fill in the desire)?” on the left column. Answer the question in the right column. Repeat this exercise until you have seven “why” questions and seven answers.

This will help you fully understand what you want and why you want it. From here, you can now focus your thoughts on the positives rather than what you do not want.

How to Deal with Setbacks

This is a journey that will not be easy, and there is no set amount of time in which it will be finished. It will take you as long as it takes to change your mindset and stop getting what you don’t want. I’ve dealt with more setbacks than I can count when I was on this journey, but I never gave up (and you shouldn’t either!).

Here is how you can deal with setbacks in your life and remain on track with your emotional healing:

  • Pause and Evaluate the Situation: You need to understand the problem and look at it from an outsider’s perspective. Are you alone in handling this or are people all around the world possible going through the same or similar? What is the absolute worst thing that is going to come from this? Will this impact your life in 10 months to 10 years?
  • Express Your Feelings When Necessary: You cannot stay bottled up when you have something on your mind. If you need to vent, I’m right to hear to listen along with our entire community. You can also turn to your friends and family. Just remember, you can’t vent for too long or else the law of attraction will kick in again.
  • Take Time to Process Your Thoughts and Emotions: Schedule a daily time to talk to yourself. Have a conversation about your day, thoughts, and emotions. You may be able to work through this set back just by having 30 minutes to yourself. You can also journal, meditate, or talk to someone.
  • Acknowledge What You Are Thinking: Have you been overly negative or positive? When you acknowledge your thoughts and how you arrived at them, you give yourself a wonderful opportunity to start again.
  • Learn from the Setback: This is a journey that will have bumps in the road. You will have setbacks and doubts. In order to truly make it to your end goal, you must learn from every setback. Take time to evaluate, and then pick yourself and start again.

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve lived through my own set of healing, falling back down the wrong path, making the decisions, feeling like I was making progress, and then still taking 10 steps back. The reason I am here today and can help you heal is that I learned how to deal with my setbacks in life. I stopped making impulse purchases and taking out credit cards. I started recognizing my patterns and triggers in order to learn how I kept ending up at an undesirable point in my life. Now, I am here because I took the time to do one of the hardest things: learn from my mistakes. I know you can do the same too.

Bottom Line

You can make it through this process, even if you don’t think you can. You need to remember that your mind is the only thing keeping you from getting what you don’t want.

The next time you find yourself focusing on what you don’t want, turn the conversation in your head to what you do actually want. This will help you lose the negative feelings and emotions building up because you are thinking about what makes you happy and brings you joy. Always keep the law of attraction in the back of your mind.

It’s a beautiful thing when you begin to live every day the way you’ve always wanted and feel joy every time you open your eyes. When you control your mind, you will master living an affluent life.

I have a range of resources available to help you live your best life because I have dedicated my life to healing. Between books, courses, and private communities, all of the help you need is right at your fingertips.

Now, what do you want? Take action today and get it!

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