You don’t want the secret to be a secret to your children. Why do you want to teach your children the law of attraction? I’ll tell you why and how to do that.
I’m Carol Tuttle. I’m a teacher, healer, and best-selling author of six books, most recently, “Mastering Affluence: 6 Lessons to Create a Life You Love.” I have also had extensive experience, not only healing my own life, but helping millions of people heal and create lives they love.
The “Aha” Moment
When it comes to children, they have an innate ability to be creators. They are creators of their life, naturally. They want a lot of stuff. Think about it. In the past week, how many things have your children asked for, from stuff to buy to experiences to have? They want things, they are natural wanters.
In fact, this became a real “aha” moment for me when my daughter, who’s now 33, was just a grade school student. She was probably 7…well, let’s just say 8-years old, roughly around 8-years old. And I was walking up the stairs in the house we lived at the time, and she was sharing with me, she was standing in the foyer area, and I was walking up the stairs. I remember this clear as day because it was such a major “aha” moment for me as a parent because I was just starting to learn these things myself, really, in practice, and wanting to employ them in my parenting practices, and she asked for something she wanted. And my practiced response that had become a habit was to tell my child she couldn’t have it.
Stop Stepping on Wants
“Well, you can’t have that, and here are all the reasons why.” So many times we use the ref…parents will use the reference of like, “We can’t afford that,” or “You need to learn to go without that.” There’s some way you make up a story that shuts the wanting down. I was walking up the stairs and as clear as day, the spirit told me, “Stop stepping on your daughter’s wants. Stop.” And wow, that came… That’s like, you know, slap in the face. “Carol, stop stepping on your daughter’s wants. Wanting is the natural innate quality in who we are. You’re shutting her down.” And how many of us have had to learn to let ourselves want things again, desires to have when our children are showing it to us all the time and we’re shushing, saying “No,” stop it, stepping on their wants? I have to say, I’m a good student when the universe and the spirit really get my attention when you get the whole slap in the face “Aha.” I pay attention.
So I stopped stepping on her wants and all my children’s wants and started recognizing the need to help nurture their wanting nature. I needed to help guide them and how to use it to their benefit. So that, you know, I wasn’t raised spoiled children that were entitled, thinking they can have whatever they want. Because that’s not the goal here, and nurturing wants in children and help to guide them and how to take that want into something that produces something and enrolls them and being productive in the cause of it is a good thing.
Support Your Child’s Desires
So when it comes to the secret or the law of attraction for kids, you’re actually setting them up to work with it at a very young age. And the first step is to let them have desires to support that. That’s a great want. Good for you to want that. And to also teach them accountability. When you start teaching your children about the law of attraction, you place them in the roles of the creator. You get to support them in choosing to be accountable for their experience.
Now, I started this quite young in my children’s lives. And I learned I missed a really important step when they were expressing frustration and discouragement and what we might consider negative feelings. I would bypass that too quickly and go right to this remark to them. Every one of them can tell you, I would say this to them, “Well, why are you creating that?” I would now insert the first step, which is, “I can see that’s upsetting you, I can see that you’re troubled by that.” I would first validate their feelings. “I recognize you’re bothered.”
Stop Playing the Victim
Then I’d go to the second step. “Well, you have a choice. What would you rather create instead?” Okay, you’re creating this experience. Let’s look at how to create something different by putting your attention on what you want. Rather than blaming, let’s say it was an issue that involved another child, a teacher, somebody in their life they felt were annoying to them, disrespectful, treating them poorly, you know. We tend to focus on they’re the bad guy, we’re the victim.
So teaches your children to have choices and to not enroll themselves in the victim role. Because whenever you’re in victim energy, you’re powerless, you don’t have a choice. You got to hope the other person changes and you have to react to it. You have to respond to is,” Oh, that’s the only option.” And usually, those are defense reactions. So, right away, you learn, you teach you’re accountable. You get to be accountable for your experience. What do you want to experience instead? So you really empower children to have a choice. That’s a very healthy thing.
Use These 3 Easy Steps
All right, so what do you do? I’m gonna give you very easy three steps when your child wants something because that’s always the trick question for parents. “Well, what do I say to ’em? Because I’m not going to buy ’em everything they want.” And I don’t know, maybe it isn’t something that they should experience? Well, you don’t have to take ownership of it. It’s not something you have to now own as though it were your want. It’s theirs. So here’s my three-step process because with that experience with my daughter, that was my… All right, great. Stop stepping on my daughter’s wants. Then what? This is what always share. This is what I got. This was the inspiration that came through. One, this is what you say, “Why do you want that?” Be curious?
Learn more? You’d be amazed when you asked your child a question. “Why do you feel that way? Why do you want that? Tell me more about that.” How many times in the past week have you said to your child, “Tell me more about that.” Wow, you are going to learn a lot with “Tell me why you want that?”
Even if it’s something simple at the grocery store, “I want a pack of gum.” “Why do you want that pack of gum?” They may not have a good reason, because it’s right there. Explore that a little bit, doesn’t take much time. The second statement, “That’s great that you want to have that experience. That’s awesome that you want something. That’s great. Good for you to want to have that experience.” Instead of saying, “No, that’s not a good experience to have.” “That’s great. You want to have that experience.”
See how you’re keeping yourself neutral? You’re neutral, you’re just acknowledging what’s going on for them. Third one here, this is the ringer. This is the most potent one. This is the one where you really hand it off. “It will be fun to see how and when that shows up for you if it’s correct.” There you go. Boom, you’ve handed it back to them. The…you know, the laws of creation, the process, and said… And if I’m supposed to be involved in this in some manner, then I’ll know when I’ll participate because the thing is just presenting itself. So even in the those wants in the grocery store, say, “Great, it’ll be fun to see and how that shows up for you. Got any money?” You know what I’m saying? You’re really not having to feel like you got to do something with it.
And I started saying this to my children and it allowed them again, to see their role in the process and seeing, “Wow, I guess if I really, really want that, I have to believe in that and help make that happen. I need to put that energy out into the world and show up with the inspired action that I’m given to do, and things can happen for me.” It’s wonderful to then sit around the dinner table and talk about all the amazing things you’re creating as a family, instead of the issues or problems, or just shoptalk that really isn’t that interesting. It’s about everybody’s schedules. This opens up a level of communication that’s really empowering to everyone in the family system, and you really get to know your kids. So, don’t make the secret a secret, and teach your children how to be more powerful creators with these three easy statements.